I’ve talked a bit about our little one, who we said goodbye to a little over a year ago, here and here. Throughout the past year, both kind friends and various sects of the interweb have introduced me to a plethora of resources for navigating the journey to healing that comes after experiencing such a loss.
With October being Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, now seems an appropriate time to share the collection of resources that Caleb and I have found to be the most precious as we remember our beloved Freddie. My hope is that these links can be passed on to YOUR loved ones who have babies in Heaven and that they will help enable you to extend arms of compassion and care in those times when you don’t know what to say or how to help.
And if you yourself are one of the 1 in 4 who have a son or daughter waiting for you with Jesus, may these stories, resources, and remembrances touch your heart and remind you that you are not alone in your grief.
- A beautiful, poetic letter written by Jean Nisly: A Tribute to the Little Angels
- This memorial garden is a must-visit for anyone who’s given up a child and is ever in south-eastern Pennsylvania: Lancaster Garden of Hope
- The poignant story of a fellow loss mama: It Happened to Me
- An encouraging article for you grief-stricken, empty-armed strong ones: To an Invisible Mother
- An online community for those living childless after loss: Still Mothers
- An organization for stillbirth photography and remembrance events: Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
- An article full of truth about the mothers who you think have moved on after their loss(es): The Other Quiet Mom
- Empathy cards for grieving parents: DrJessicaZucker.com
- Another great read for those who want to understand: Telling Stories of Loss on National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day
- A song that always makes me cry: Gone Too Soon by Daughtry
- Information on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day/Month: October15th.com
The cradle pictured above stands empty in our spare bedroom. We scored an amazing deal on it at an auction last summer, and my husband spent the entire day after we saw those two lines on that test refinishing and painting it. I may have only carried our baby for three months, but she turned our world upside-down. Our lives are forever changed.
We may not know the sleepless nights of the newborn stage or the messy days of the toddler years like so many of our friends right now, but we do know what it’s like to love someone who is a part of each of us more than we ever thought possible. And we do know the sometimes sleepless, sometimes messy ache of not being able to watch that child live and grow.
Raising awareness for the loss of human life, while still in the womb or not, is not about self-pity. Not only does it garner support and validation for the life-altering grief that yes, 25% of American women have experienced, but it’s also an effort for the advocacy of and education for safe pregnancy practices. To me it is one of the tiny slices of redemption that we have opportunity to participate in within this broken, weary world.
It’s for these reasons that I’ve gone pink and blue on social media this month, and that I’m looking forward to taking part in the International Wave of Light that will take place worldwide, in each respective time zone, at 7 p.m. tomorrow evening, October 15. If there’s a baby whose absence you’re feeling this year, I encourage you to light a candle in his or her memory, and let family members know that they’re thought of and loved. Ours will be lit for our tiny Freddie Joy, the luckiest little Fisher who got to be the first of our little family to meet Jesus face-to-face. ❤